According to Merriam Webster, trauma is defined as both:
- a disordered psychic or behavioral state resulting from severe mental or emotional stress or physical injury and
- an emotional upset.
The point is that trauma can encompass something severe or even something that may seem benign in comparison. In the therapy world, we refer to this as “big T trauma” and “little T trauma.” Both are valid and both are extremely disruptive. They impact the way that we interact with the world and more importantly ourselves.
If you have experienced “big T trauma,” like childhood abuse, severe illness, combat, or a terrible accident, then you may be familiar with flashbacks, nightmares, panic attacks, not feeling totally in your body, and zoning out. These extremely painful experiences can make us feel like a shell, confused about who we really are, wearing a mask just to get through, and always being in survival mode. This means that we are not actually enjoying our life, but still living as if our trauma is actively happening.
If you have experienced “little t trauma,” which I guarantee that you have, you experience negative beliefs about yourself like, “I am not good enough,” “I am unlovable,” “I am a failure,” “I am ugly.” This is because at some point in your life you interacted with a person or your environment and the message you received was that you are flawed. Perhaps you failed a test, you were bullied, your parents were preoccupied and withheld affection. That wound grows with every subsequent “burn” we encounter in our lives. What seemed like an insignificant incident, is actually extremely impactful.
For many people living with a traumatic past (both big and small), they are unable to live life to the fullest, experience joyful moments, and may not be fully engaged in their life. It may seem totally outrageous to think that the trauma can be healed and you can actually experience joy and feel confident and grounded in who you really are. But, it is possible.
I support clients in trauma work all the time. My modality to treat this is primarily EMDR. It is a proven intervention that helps us reprocess our yucky memories leaving us feeling healed by undoing the horrible emotional impact of our trauma. There is a TON of research on this modality. I encourage you to check it out for yourself https://www.emdria.org/. It is definitely not your traditional talk therapy.